The Bust & The Butt

Two very interesting things happened today.

1. Jeep Boy got busted by Perfect Man, and

2. Hammerhead asked me to look at his butt.

1. Jeep Boy Got Busted by Perfect Man

Jeep Boy got his driver's license last week. In the state where we live, there is a law that newly-licensed teenagers cannot drive with peers in the car for six months after they get their licenses. The only passengers allowed in the car with a newly-licensed teen are family members. Needless to say, this law, and the consequences of breaking it (which include up to a fifty dollar fine, 8-24 hours of community service, possible revoking of license, and a commensurate increase in insurance costs) have been discussed at length in our home.

Well, due to a confluence of unexpected events, right after Jeep Boy left for work this morning, Perfect Man, instead of I, drove Hammerhead to his skate camp. And en route to the skate park, Perfect Man spied two of Jeep Boy's buddies with their lunch boxes and cell phones, standing on the street around the corner from our house, obviously waiting to be picked up and given an illegal but fun ride to work. Perhaps their wires crossed and Jeep Boy was looking for them on the wrong corner--who knows? In any case, Perfect Man got to them first. You see, Jeep Boy had just recommended these two friends to his boss, they'd both been hired, and this was their first day. When they saw Perfect Man, they looked very surprised and very afraid. As well they should have! Perfect Man called Jeep Boy on his cell phone, told him to come right home, and took away car privileges for an undetermined length of time.

Oh, I am so glad it was Perfect Man who caught the miscreants and not me. It is so much better to be the silent observer in this situation.

Poor Perfect Man. Yesterday was his birthday and today his present is this: You Have A 16 Year Old Son!!!!

I have been holed up for the most of the day, keeping a low profile. And not half an hour ago,


2. Hammerhead Asked Me To Look At His Butt

"Would you please look at my butt?" he said, coming in my office covered with grime and sweat.

"Well," I said. "I would love to."

He pulled down his pants and showed me a very red right butt cheek marked by a very red straight line, where he landed on the end of his board when it got stuck in the coping, standing upright, during a failed jump.

"Ouch," I said.

Which satisfied him completely.