Aunt Pillowhead learned something new this weekend. Read on, and benefit from her hard-won wisdom:When you see a fairly new business acquaintance at business event and turn to give him a casual hug "hello," step on his foot, lose your balance, fall into him and turn that casual hug into an awkwardly long, clinging, desperate struggle to not continue falling forward so you don't knock him over and land on top of him, you need to be Jennifer Aniston acting in a slapstick comedy for it to be cute and funny.
If you're not acting, and it's not a slapstick comedy, and you're not Jennifer Aniston, but merely an off-kilter middle-aged woman who is exhausted because you've been up since 2:30 and taken a terrifying plane ride to this event, then it's not cute and funny at all. It's just really, really embarrassing and difficult to explain. Worst of all, the memory of it, which you will be unable to block despite repeated attempts, will make you feel as graceful and elegant as a manatee.
So, from now on, before you hug somebody, remember these three important rules:
1. Make sure you are well-rested and in top form.
2. Keep your balance.
3. Feet on the floor at all times.
Your friend,
Aunt Pillowhead
12 comments:
Oooooh! Poor Aunt Pillowhead. I hope you're okay!!!
I'm fine, thank you so much. Just really, really embarrassed. (I DID manage to keep from knocking him over. It was just an inappropriately long, grasping hug. The kind drunk people give. Dang, dang, dang!!!)
Poor Aunt Pillowhead!
Hey, that's not so bad. If I were the guy that happened to, I'd be walking around for the rest of the day with an imaginary Superman S on my shirt. I mean, either I just saved some clumsy lady's butt, or else I was the object of a desparate woman's attention. Either way, you might have made his day.
At least you didn't punch him in the nose, which is what I did to some poor schnook one clumsy day...
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